Tag Archives: Lager

Make mines a beer!

28 Dec

The Tabloid continues its lazy look back through the dusty Tabloid archives this week with ‘Make mines a beer!’ – first published on Wednesday, 15th December 2004

Harry Half Pint, yesterday

In another Tabloid exclusive, we can exclusively reveal that Livingston FC’s newest addition to the payroll is a former bus driver and High Court Judge. Harry ‘Half Pint’ has been appointed as head of the ‘Beveridge Department’ in an attempt to boost bevvy sales to younger fans at Almondvale.¬†

In a shock move yesterday, Pearse Brosnan (72), head of the ‘Livvy Consortina’ has appointed disgraced former LRT bus driver and High Court Judge Harry ‘Half Pint’ (14) to drum up the sales of alcohol to younger fans on matchdays at Almondvale Stadium.

When asked to comment Pearse was overheard to say “Move your foot kiddo, or Ill set the dogs on you, to be sure”

‘Half Pint’ (11) was a little more forthcoming but did however avoid any reference on the incident six months ago with the barmaid that saw him lose his bus licence. “A’ve been well warned no tae shay anything aboot that, no? Mind you, they were a fair pair, eh?” he slurred.

When probed for details on the shock appointment, the clearly buckled ‘Half Pint’ advised the assembled shoppers that “A gap hash been identified in the age groupsh that partake in a shwallay before the games. The under eighteensh have got money to shpend and it’sh my job to make shure they shpend it with ush. On beer.”

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Livi 1st team squad sign up for another year!

14 Dec

(l to r) St Bobby Barr, Jonny Brown (hidden), Sparky McNulty, Craig Barr, Paul Watson, Cammy McDonald, Dr Who, Tom C, Iaian Russell

It was fun and games down at the British Motor Corporation Stadium (BMC) last night as the first team squad took time out from their hectic Poker schedule to sign ‘2012’ calendars for supporters.

Slight drizzle 

The terrible weather conditions didn’t sway the crowds as literally tens of fans queued within the club reception ahead of the signing session in eager anticipation of catching a glimpse of their footballing favourites.

It’s Tom C day every day

In a surprise move and a nod to the Tabloid’s ‘Tom C’ day celebrations yesterday the players joined in with the party spirit and donned Tom C cheeky cockney boat race masks and downed several pints of lager.

One young fan, Anna Edinburgh (5), was gifted a club calendar by her new hero St Bobby Barr. She said “I used to like Liam Fox but since that surface to air missile incident with the 747 carrying the Panda’s the other week I’ve gone right off him. Luckily for me St Bobby spotted my ‘I love Bobby Barr’ badge and took an instant shine to me.

I’ll think of Bobby every time I look at my calendar. If my mum let’s me put it up that is. She gave my dad a funny look when he asked if it would be alright if he put it on the wall in my room. Tut!”

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