Tag Archives: Madone

Bones discovery launches Police probe

20 Dec

The tunnel being excavated, yesterday

The Police were last night called to the British Motor Corporation Stadium following the discovery of 3 human skeletons in a tunnel under the North Stand.

Recent excavation of the tomb of Egyptian Pharaoh Semerkhet I (Sunday Tabloid 4 December) unearthed the entrance to the tunnel at the weekend, and a robotic camera sent inside made the grim discovery.

Escape theory

Speculation is rife as to the identities of the 3 skeletons, but Police now fear they may be the remains of Livi Till I Die Trust members imprisoned by former despotic chairman, Emperor Michelangelo Madone, who perished in a failed escape attempt.


It was always believed that Madone had a zero tolerance policy towards those who dared speak out against his madcap regime, however this may be the proof which finally brings the tyrant to justice.

Great Escape

Speaking exclusively to the Tabloid, Detective Chief Inspector Taggart Sunhill of Borders & Lothian Police said “the skeletons were found lying in the tunnel, one behind the other as if they were crawling through it at the time of their demise.

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Panda-monium averted!

6 Dec

Lions Skipper Fox, yesterday

The world of nature last night dodged a bullet as one of Livi’s top players was unmasked as the mastermind behind a plot to assassinate Scotland’s two new pandas.

Club captain and former Tory Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, was this morning under lock and key after his sick plan was uncovered at the last minute.  Despite resigning his Government post in October this year, Fox still held enough sway with the military top brass to order captured Iraqi Scud missiles for the task of eliminating the jet bringing Tian Tian and Yang Guang from China to Edinburgh.


However the disgraced midfielder and sitting MP for North Somerset is still stubbornly denying everything, despite the overwhelming evidence pointing to his guilt.

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Lions in new takeover threat

25 Nov
“Emperor” Michelangelo Madone, yesterday

Tabloid Towers was rocked last night by news that yet another Livi takeover is on the cards.

Through our extensive international media network, we have learned that Italian entrepreneur and all-round philanthropist, Michelangelo Madone, has the BMC very much in his sights as he looks to expand his European empire.

Madone (44) was addressing a gathering of schoolchildren in one of his many Roman sweatshops when his startling revelation was made.  Using an intermediary, we were able to make contact with the swarthy Italian and learn of his plans first hand.

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