Tag Archives: nuts

Make mines a beer!

28 Dec

The Tabloid continues its lazy look back through the dusty Tabloid archives this week with ‘Make mines a beer!’ – first published on Wednesday, 15th December 2004

Harry Half Pint, yesterday

In another Tabloid exclusive, we can exclusively reveal that Livingston FC’s newest addition to the payroll is a former bus driver and High Court Judge. Harry ‘Half Pint’ has been appointed as head of the ‘Beveridge Department’ in an attempt to boost bevvy sales to younger fans at Almondvale. 

In a shock move yesterday, Pearse Brosnan (72), head of the ‘Livvy Consortina’ has appointed disgraced former LRT bus driver and High Court Judge Harry ‘Half Pint’ (14) to drum up the sales of alcohol to younger fans on matchdays at Almondvale Stadium.

When asked to comment Pearse was overheard to say “Move your foot kiddo, or Ill set the dogs on you, to be sure”

‘Half Pint’ (11) was a little more forthcoming but did however avoid any reference on the incident six months ago with the barmaid that saw him lose his bus licence. “A’ve been well warned no tae shay anything aboot that, no? Mind you, they were a fair pair, eh?” he slurred.

When probed for details on the shock appointment, the clearly buckled ‘Half Pint’ advised the assembled shoppers that “A gap hash been identified in the age groupsh that partake in a shwallay before the games. The under eighteensh have got money to shpend and it’sh my job to make shure they shpend it with ush. On beer.”

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