Tag Archives: Paul Don

LTID in “Separation” shocker!

8 Jan

As the Livi Till I Die (LTID) supporters trust ‘fan on the board’ election campaign kicks into overdrive, sensational plans to divorce the club from itself have been mooted by one of the two candidates.

Dara Stoker, last night

Incumbant fan-on-the-board, Dara Stoker, launched his re-election drive by promising the fans a return to the Meadowbank Thistle glory days.  This ambitious scheme would see half the club wrenched from the British Motor Corporation Stadium and relocated back east to take up residence once more at Edinburgh’s former Commonwealth Stadium.

Divorce

An enthusiastic Stoker (40) was only too keen to discuss his plans last night.  “It’s simple, ken” he said,  “there’s two of us up for it, so with my plan we can both get on the board.  Meadowbank will be gain its independence from Livi: two clubs, two boards.  Barrie!”

“Besides, I’ve got all this Meadowbank stuff cluttering-up the house, and the wife is at me to use it or lose it.”

Paul Don campaigning, yesterday

Separatist Vermin

However Stoker’s rival for the vacant boardroom seat, Paul Don, was scathing of the plan he regards as separation rather than independence.

“I have no time for these separatists” he stormed.  “We’re stronger as a united club.  Team GB, that’s Gary Bollan incidentally, all the way!”

Devolution

“If I win the election though, I am prepared to extend an olive branch to the separatists and offer a concession of some devolved powers” he continued.  “Kit washing, upkeep of the players’ boots and filling in the teamsheets can all be devolved to Meadowbank, but the rest – such as cutting the grass and team selection – will remain reserved issues for Livingston.”

Doom

But as the gloves come off in the LTID power struggle, constitutional experts were quick to highlight potential flaws in both plans.

Hell, last night

Gloom

Ross McWhirter QC of the West Highland Free Press last night sounded a note of caution to both camps.  “If either club, when they separate as they surely will, decides to play on a Sunday then the fires of Hell will rain down upon them as the seven gates of Hades open to set forth the Beast to devour them.  Or something.”

The campaigning continues.

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